Frequently asked questions

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Q.	What is Life Coaching?
A.	At a very basic level Life Coaching is all about setting aside time where you will be guided to really listen to your own thoughts, organise them, analyse them, and decide upon your future actions. One of the most effective Coaching tools is often to have what you are describing summarised back to you, this allows you to hear your story without the blinkers of the inevitable attached emotions that we all carry with us. You are responsible and in control throughout the Coaching experience. Life Coaching is not a magic wand but it is the quickest way for you to feel what you want to feel or to achieve those goals you want to achieve. Coaching is an active experience for the Client, not passive. It will enable and support you to recognise whatever is stopping you from making those positive changes to your feelings and your life; but you are the one who must make those changes. Coaching will facilitate you in overcoming the blocks and working towards your goals. Your Coach will use techniques such as :– focused listening, appropriate silence (not 'butting in' when you have finished speaking allows your mind to open up), exercises to adjust perspective or break habitual thoughts, and questioning techniques. As mentioned above, Life Coaching gives you the opportunity to be really listened to in a way that never happens in normal conversation. You are the focus, and it is all completely confidential and non-judgemental. The questioning techniques and exercises will draw out your own creative answers and so you will have complete ownership of your solution. There is no advice or instruction in non-directive Coaching. The process is completely future-focused and solution-focused, past events are recognised but not analysed in great depth. Have a browse of the real Life Coaching stories on the Clients’ Experiences page if you are interested in how other people have found Coaching.
Q.	What does Life Coaching actually achieve?
A.	Life Coaching is the fastest way to you becoming the happiest you can possibly be. Effective Thoughts Clients have been supported and successfully overcome many obstacles, including the following: focusing on past problems writer’s block problems with relationships negative thinking issues with confidence and self-worth acceptance of health problems feelings of guilt need to identify life goals and direction indecision about future career work/life in-balances time-keeping problems jumbled thoughts that need clarifying procrastination and lack of motivation fear about the future acceptance of long-term illness anxiety/excessive worrying obsessive thinking and OCD over-eating and eating disorders inability to reach realistic goals perfectionism
Q.	Is Life Coaching like therapy, counselling or teaching?
A.	Effective Thoughts Life Coaching is completely different to therapy, counselling and teaching. Firstly, it is ‘non-directive’: Coaching does not involve giving advice or instruction; you will be guided to come up with your own strategies and actions to move you forward. One Effective Thoughts Client that solved a long-term problem through Coaching, but had not achieved success through therapy, commented that it was the non-directive approach that gave her ownership of her list of actions and left her feeling that she did ‘not have to move mountains’ or prove herself. Secondly, it is ‘future-focused’: Coaching will recognise but not dwell on the reasons for personal blocks or negativity from the past. In therapy it is valid to dissect the origins of a problem or trauma in order to work through the suppressed emotions. Coaching only touches on the past negative experiences, without extensive focus or analysis, in order to identify them and then guide you to define the best way forward. The main focus is the solution, not the cause. Of course, therapy and instruction is perfectly valid and necessary for certain situations. For example, in a situation where the Client is unable to move past overwhelming emotions preventing them from looking to the future, or in cases of mental illness. Your Effective Thoughts Coach will notify you if Coaching does not seem appropriate, discuss referrals with you and refund your session fee.
Q.	Isn’t Coaching just as good as talking things over with friends?
A.	You will not get the results achieved in Coaching through talking to friends or family. You may have an apparently good listener to turn to, but generally people want to help and the natural tendency is to give advice or relate your situation to theirs or someone they know. This is a valid part of normal conversation, but it will not allow your mind to off-load and open up to a point where you can creatively define your own actions. Also, in normal conversation we are not given ‘space’ to really think. Space includes the listener remaining silent at times when the speaker may not have finished with their thought pattern. In conversation we hurriedly fill silences and can be embarrassed by them but it is this space that really allows the creative part of the mind to open up. In addition to this, Coaching is comletely non-judgemental and confidential so Clients quickly learn that they can really speak their mind without fear of reprisal.
Q.	How will I find the experience?
A.	Most people comment that the time goes really quickly and that they are amazed at how effective Coaching is. At the end of a session Client’s can feel tired, drained, relieved and excited, all at once. It is important to congratulate yourself and acknowledge that by putting aside the time for Coaching, you have done something truly positive for yourself and your future. See Clients’ Experience page for personal stories.
Q.	What do I need to do to prepare?
A.	You will need to set yourself up in room where you will not be interrupted for the duration of the session. You will need to turn the ‘phone off and any other distractions such as the television or computer. Some people find it helps to pull the curtains or draw the blinds to keep them focused on their thoughts. You will need a pen and paper to jot down your actions to help you to remember them afterwards. Or use a journal… From the day you start your Coaching, it is strongly advised that you keep a notebook/journal/diary of your experiences. This allows you to list your actions, monitor your progress, and record your thoughts. This simple approach not only reinforces your goal but is motivational in that it allows you to track each positive change as it takes effect. To make the most use of your time, it is helpful to have an idea of what you would like to talk about and what you would like the session to achieve. However, if you feel that your thoughts are muddled, then this is something that can be examined in the session.
Q.	Will my information be safe?
A.	Absolutely, Client confidentiality is paramount. Effective Thoughts has highly ethical policies that adhere to the association’s Code of Conduct. The Data Protection Act is carefully followed. All Client information is secure, will never be disclosed to any 3rd party. Any session notes will be kept separate to Client names and contact information.
Q.	I am slightly hard of hearing and would prefer face to face Coaching, is this possible?
A.	Face to face Coaching is possible, especially in the Worthing, West Sussex area. Video conferencing is also available by special arrangement. Please email or call to discuss.
Q.	How many sessions will I need?
A.	This is a very difficult question to answer as we all have very different needs. If you have all areas of your life working beautifully but are finding time keeping, for example, difficult then you may only need 1 session. If you have a lifetime of negative thinking or anxiety in key areas of your life which need addressing before working on your future goals then you may need as many as 10 over a period of time. Most Clients will need at least 3 to kick off their successful and happy future. Ideally, you need to discuss this after your first session.
Q.	When is Coaching not appropriate?
A.	Your Coach will stop the session, refund you and discuss referrals with you in situations where there is: a need for therapy resistance to change beyond normal procrastination and indicative of depression mental illness dishonest responses that suggest resistance Coaching has techniques to overcome mild versions of depression or procrastination but where Coaching is not appropriate the Coach will stop the Coaching relationship for ethical reasons. In some cases Clients have Coaching alongside therapy which can be very successful but in these cases, Effective Thoughts would need assurance that the therapist is aware of the Coaching.